My precious first born...

Lately life has revolved around Garrett, and his tournament baseball team. I've been thinking back on the past few months and how much time we've spent at the ball park. Whether it's batting practice at the academy, defensive practice at Macomber, or game day in the Rincon League, or game day in the Savannah League, or a weekend tournament....everything else in the Miller family comes 2nd. I can't help but feel a little guilty at times because Macie is right there with us (of course) at each and every practice or game. Poor little thing is being raised at the ball park. She enjoys herself of course, playing with other younger siblings, running herself ragged, and lately she's even started to watch Garrett bat and clap and yell "GOOOOOO GARRETT!!!!" She asks every morning "Can we go to baseball today?" It's adorable. But are we neglecting her? Are we giving her the same opportunities to be involved? I know she's only three, but I was in ballet, tap, etc...when I was three. AM I FAVORING MY SON?? That is a huge fear of mine - that I will subconsiously favor one child over the other. I love both of my children more than anything else in this world, and for all different reasons. They are night and day in so many ways, and alike in several as well. I want them to have the best life possible, to experience all the great things, the simplest of things even, that I did as a child that helped make me the person I am today. But am I going to be able to? I want to be at every practice, every game, every ceremony, every performance for BOTH of my children. Is that possible? My mom had three children who were heavily involved in several sports/activities. How in the world did she do it? Especially with my dad working six days a week when we were young....

I've been so bothered by this lately, until it hit me. SOAK UP EVERY MINUTE (instead of sweating the small stuff) of Garrett's competitive sports while Macie is still young and not competitive yet. Because before Jack and I know it, she will have found her passion, like Garrett with baseball, and then we'll both be sacrificing and compromising in order to see each of our precious children excel and grow and learn and enjoy....I have to remind myself that Macie has plenty of time to develop her athletic ability, to learn sports, to learn dance, whatever it may be....I need to be thankful that I'm able to be at as many games and practices as I currently am, because soon enough, things will definitely be different.

And I am SO thankful. Garrett is playing some of the best baseball of his short, amazing little life so far. His team's switch has clicked "ON" and they are playing fantastic baseball for 7 and 8 year olds. My son makes me incredibly proud on a daily basis, both on and off the field. He's so smart. He's in GT, he's reading on a 4th grade reading level, and has been selected as a Young Author the past two years. He's so incredibly sweet. He's soft spoken and shy in public - charming, goofy, talkative and funny at home (just like his daddy). He's a natural athlete; modest and humble. He's so tenderhearted that I sometimes worry that he'll be taken advantage of. He loves me, and humors me when I have a camera in his face, or hug/kiss him in public. He's an amazingly patient, loving big brother who is so nurturing and so good to Macie, even in her most high maintanence moments. He's DADDY'S BUDDY, and the apple of Jack's eye :) He's growing up so fast, that it sometimes breaks my heart when I think back to when he was little. I don't know - Garrett has just been on my mind a lot lately. He just makes me so PROUD, it brings me to tears. I never thought I could love another human being as much as I love him (and Macie of course). He's my doodlebug, and I couldn't imagine my life without him.